Saturday, May 3, 2008

Sometimes I Do Not Want To Be Responsible

Spring Tulips
Originally uploaded by catscluttercrafts
I hate highly dislike being a responsible adult. I did something I swore to myself that I would never ever do again. I did it because I'm responsible and do not want to be stranded up a creek without a paddle. I know you're thinking what horrible thing did I swear never to do...
I reapplied to the job I quit over 2 years ago. I didn't want to but looking at our finances and how prices are rising etc... I thought I would head off any problems that might come up in the future by possibly going back. Not that I am sure if they will rehire me. I thought I left on good terms with everyone but everytime I go shopping my old boss won't even say hello. I do not know if she's mad that I quit or what. I did talk to another one of my bosses and she was fine with it but didn't know if she had any hours. Summer time isn't a busy time but it's a grocery store so they are always busy. Plus with people not wanting to spend money on frivolous things, being a shot girl just might not be in my future.
I just really don't like the games people play. I do not mind working with the teenagers. They are a hoot, with their problems and stuff. It's the "adults" who still play the games and are not nice people that I can't stand. You know the kind, the ones who are nice to your face and then talk crap behind your back. My one boss was like that. She was always thanking me for doing a good job and complaining about everyone else. Well then we started having meetings every weekend on how she would be checking our work and if we weren't doing it right we would be written up. She would always tell me that she had to talk to everyone but I shouldn't be worried, it wasn't directed at me. Well then I started hearing that I would be written up by more than one person and my boss started being pissy to me. So I would go to work, worrying if I was completing my work properly and waiting to be called to the office. It never happened but my stress level was growing everyday.
Then the straw that broke my temper... In a store such as ours, there is the store manager and then 3 managers directly under him who are constantly changing. Some do an excellent job and are very helpful, others are lazier than a fly on manure. I was called to help a customer and was not able to give the refund he wanted. A manager over me could. Since my manager wasn't there and neither was the store manager, I called an underling. The customer was loud and being very bullying towards me. I kept my smiley face on and apologized but the manager would be here soon. So over comes the lazy assed manager. He kisses the customer's ass and then puts me down in front of the customer, like I'm a bloody moron! I confront the manager afterwards telling him that is not procedure I was taught. He tells me it is now and never to call him again. I know very well if I had signed it, my ass would have been in the office the next day getting reamed out.
So I start having acid reflux problems all the time from the stress. My doctor tells me to either go on the medication or quit my job because it's really not worth it. So I did. I quit and we've been able to live until now without to many problems.
Since luxuries seem to be going, I'm afraid my husband's business will not meet the bare minimum money needs. I would rather stay ahead of the game than come to a grinding halt.
I'm kicking myself but what's a mom to do??? I don't want my children to go hungry. Nor do I want bill collector's to be hounding us. Who knows when this recession will end. I know, you are thinking apply some place else but I live in the country and all local business are either schools or family run. Since a day job is out of the question with my little one. I did look into a day job but with child care, I would only make $5 a day. I wouldn't want to do anything crazy with my $25 a week now would I?!! So the next town over, I'm fighting with teenagers for jobs because of the hours I can work.
At least I can gaze at the beautiful spring time flowers in the neighborhood. sigh

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